The False Theory of Fake It Till You Make It

I decided to write about my experience with the theory of fake it till you make it. It’s where you pretend that you are confident to eventually have confidence. The phrase technically not a theory but a mindset that people use to achieve what they want. I have not seen someone write about the false side of this theory. I am not saying that it does not work, but I am just saying there is a chance the theory would not work for you.

My Research For This Blog 

People have always said when you have fake energy of confidence then you will eventually have confidence within yourself. However, it has not worked for me. 

While I was doing my research for this blog, I realized lots of people like me have gone through this too. I read other blogs explaining how they found confidence by conquering their insecurities and not having a fake persona. 

My Experience With This Theory

My biggest insecurity, which I thought at the time was the biggest one, was not seeming weird to people. I did not know how to start or end a conversation, and it always felt awkward. I used to hate small talk and meeting new people. I started using the fake it till you make it theory, to make it seem I was very outgoing. Then I felt like I was hiding a part of myself that made me who I was. 

My friends were always saying they wish they had as much confidence that I do. Which hurts to know most of the time I was pretending. I felt like people did not know the real me and they liked how I was faking it. 

The theory made me feel much worse about myself than before. It did not help conquer my insecurities, but brought it to light. It just showed how I was putting on a fake persona of confidence and inside I was drowning with insecurities.

What We Should Be Focusing On

It took me a long time to embrace my insecurities and not hide those anxious thoughts. I started researching how to have confidence. I looked at videos, articles, and even books about gaining confidence. But the current trending problem with all of my research was they did not explain to me how to conquer your insecurities.

I was overwhelmed with the number of people telling me to do other things than face the core reason; my insecurities. You would hear people always say look at things that you like about yourself. Meanwhile, we should be focusing on the things we do not like about ourselves. 

We love as humans to not focus on the real reasons we feel a certain way and get distracted by making other problems. If you learn how to embrace your insecurities you will feel more confident in yourself. Learning how to love yourself does not mean loving some parts of yourself. We have to get used to our insecurities and not hide them away.  

My Main Insecurity Realization

At the time, I sat down on the edge of my bed and wrote all my insecurities. I started fixing them one by one. Then I realize some of my insecurities were built to protect myself from the main issue; feeling of rejection. I feel as though that all problems are made by one big problem but just branched out into multiple ones. It is like a big tree with the branches being tiny problems, and the main problem is the trunk. 

What I Started Doing 

So I started with my major insecurity. I started reading books and articles about how to feel enough. I started doing exercises and mediation that helped me when I felt overwhelmed with anxiousness. I even started writing in a journal about my day and how I was feeling. These activities helped me fix my problem with feeling rejected and cleared out most of my insecurities.

How I Feel Currently

I still have some insecurities which I am working on. I am a teenage girl that uses social media every day. But I have learned to embrace and conquer my insecurities. I still have a long way to go and I am happy to share my experience with the fake it till you make it a theory. I honestly do not recommend this theory whatsoever because it hides the main problems you have within yourself. Conquering your insecurities is hard to do but it is the only way we can truly be happy and confident.

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Thank you for reading this blog. I hope this helped you understand that not always this mindset will work for you. Thank you for letting me share my experience with you on the fake it till you make it theory. I have done research, which says that it does help people too but it is also good to make sure to look at both sides of any argument. Have a good day and see you next week. 

Also if there is any topic you would like me to talk about then send me a DM or an email. I love hearing from you guys. 🙂