This blog is more of a life update so you don’t have to read this. But I love to share a little bit more about my life recently. This was made last week and I got an email last week with this question, so I decided to write a short blog about it. So here is the blog, hope you enjoy.
Life Update
Why is it so hard to love yourself? My biggest question I had this week. It is funny to me that I have confidence in myself and have accomplished many things but still have this burning question. This whole week was so crazy with school and a blog idea that didn’t work out as planned. I had a stressful week, and I’m so tired I feel like nothing is working out.
I did get into my first college which was cool, but then I went right back in my stressful state. I don’t know why this week has made me more confused about my life even though things are going well. I feel very distracted and overwhelmed that it is hard to stay in the present. I have been daydreaming and getting no sleep for the whole week, and now since it is the end of the week, I still feel very confused. It is like I don’t care about the good things that are happening in my life but only focus on what I have lost or didn’t accomplish.
The problem is that I’m realizing I did accomplish things, but I don’t feel like I deserved or have gotten it with hard work. Welcome to the brain of a teen that pushes herself to the verge of burnout.
Since I was very young, I was always like this, from earning medals or even getting honor roles. I always felt that I didn’t work hard to get it when I obviously did. I felt like I was settling for something so small when I can get something bigger. It’s just how my brain works.
Sometimes It can benefit me when I think this way. Like when I was able to go on a college trip because I had the highest grades in my class or even that one time I got second place in an art competition. But then there are those other times where it didn’t help me accomplish anything but made me feel confused and overwhelmed like this week.
It’s an ongoing spiral where I’m on cloud nine and getting everything I work hard for, but then I overthink if I accomplish it with hard work. Like I would say “Did my teacher really give me a 98% on that test, or is she trying to be nice?” or “Are people really congratulating me, or are they doing that just to show petty for me?” I know it’s crazy, but I don’t think a lot of good things go well for me even if I tried.
The Short Blog Question
But back to the question: why is it so hard to love yourself? Someone recently sent me an email with this question, and I decided to write a short little blog about it. I think it is hard to love ourselves because we as human beings look at not what we have accomplished but the things we don’t have or have not yet accomplished. It’s like when someone says something mean to you and you have gotten dozens of compliments, but you are still thinking about that bad comment someone said. This happens to everyone even if you are the most confident person in the universe. We can’t help ourselves but look at the bad things that go on in our lives and not the good. Like me for example, I got accepted to a university, and I’m thinking of all the things I didn’t achieve. I’m a crazy person! I and many others need to realize that what we have achieved is because of our hard work and nothing different. We need to stop looking at the negatives and focus on the things we love and did in our life. Having a positive mind helps us grow into beautiful people that we are meant to be.
Thank you for reading this short little blog I did just venting the emotions I had about last week. I’m thinking about writing blogs like this twice a month if you guys like life updates and getting to know me a little better. Since I am a person just like you that goes through struggles too. If you like me to answer any questions for these types of blogs then go ahead and send me an email or a DM. I love hearing from you guys, and I truly love the support from everyone. Thank you for reading, and see you next week for a better-organized blog. 🙂
SurlyHuman 